Benny Takes Vested Interest in Safety

October 3, 2008

Manx Party VP catidate Benny arrived at Thursday night’s vice presidential debate wearing blaze-orange hunting safety gear.

Benny and Douglas are not yet protected by the Secret Service. However, Benny’s concern was due to Repub-lick-can Sarah Pawlin’s stance on animal rights.

Pawlin is a strong advocate of shooting wildlife from airplanes, among other cruelties. The catpaign says “Benny, being that he will be in close proximity to gun-toting Pawlin, is taking no chances, fearing that Pawlin could mistake the black, furry Manx cat for a bear cub, whip out a pistol, and gun Benny down.”

“That’s not putting country bears—or cats—first.”


Benny Sits Up for Animal Rights at Debate

October 3, 2008

Even though Manx Party vice-presidential catidate Benny couldn’t physically stand as tall as the two humans, nevertheless the little, furry, black contender stood up for the rights of animals at Thursday night’s debate.

Decrying the lack of concern for the rights of animals, Benny especially tore into Pawlin’s record of supporting airplane hunts, and her carelessness towards the creatures that inhabit Alaska.

“Pawlin is good with the sound bites, but her regard for our noble beast friends is almost non-existent”, said a spokesperson for the Douglas-Benny catpaign.

After the debate, Democat Senator Bitin said he shares Benny’s feelings, and will work to restore animal rights if he becomes vice-president.