”Size doesn’t matter”—Douglas-Benny

While delivering a speech to a group of businessmen, John McCairn Terrier once again taunted the Douglas-Benny ticket. On stage, while pointing to a Dyson upright vacuum cleaner on the table behind him, McCairn said:

”My friends, how can Americans expect my feline opponents to face up to the terrierists if they can’t face a vacuum cleaner? How can they fight our enemies if they turn tail and run?”

Late Friday afternoon, the Douglas-Benny catpaign replied to McCairn’s remarks in a statement.

”McCairn’s comments, attempting to make physical size an issue, are unfortunate. Are we to believe that McCairn would remain standing, idly, in the middle of the street as a roaring bus headed straight towards him? Of course not. That would be extremely foolish. Yet, because of Douglas and Benny’s smaller stature, he mocks them for doing the equivalent of what he’d do in the same situation.”

”Douglas and Benny may be smaller in size, but their stature on the global stage will be respected and admired—not because of their physical dimensions, but because of the the leadership they will bring.”

”McCairn will be sorry when Douglas and Benny ‘sweep’ the election in November!”

As a side note, the catpaign claims that, if elected, they will ask Congress to impose much stricter noise controls on vacuum cleaner producers AND bus companies, so as to make them ”pet- and people friendly”.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: