Benny: Big Gains Ahead

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Benny spoke at a casino in front of a “Benny Big Game” video machine.

Mar. 15: ATLANTIC CITY, NJ— Manx VP Catidate Benny proclaimed his stand on several issues here today, chief among them animal rights.

“A Douglas-Benny administration will not take abuse of animals here in the U.S. lying down”, said the catpaign. “One of these issues is so-called ‘boutique hunting’. That is where well-to-do hunters pay a lot of money to go on private land for a private ‘hunt’ —if you can call it that. And it’s where such beautiful creatures as quail are purposely thrown up for the hunter to make them easier to kill.

By the way, this, in fact, is how Dick Choke-Cheney hunts, and we all know about the disaster that turned out to be. Those disasters seem to follow him around, don’t they?”

Benny also promised Atlantic City and the state of New Jersey would achieve “big gains economically” with his running mate Douglas in the White House. “You know what they say: always bet on black!”, said the furry feline.

Later, rock legend Bruce Springsteen joined Benny on stage. “Cats like us, Benny, baby we were born to run!”, he said, raising Benny high in the air in one hand.

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