Aloha, Douglas!

The world’s greatest marshmallow and pineapple eating cat, Douglas, visited Hawaii in anticipation of Tuesday’s Manx Party caucuses. While visiting that island paradise, Douglas stressed the importance of ocean conservation. “The oceans are not just for humans, but are important to all life on Earth, especially cats because we love fish,” a Douglas spokesperson said. “We can’t afford to have any more oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas, or fish full of mercury. A Douglas-Benny administration will see to this.”

Douglas later visited a fruit ranch, where he tasted papaya, pineapple, pumpkin and poi, and sampled sugar cane. He caused a minor stir when, at Waikiki Beach, he noticed a humuhumunukunukuapuaʻa go swimming by and tried to catch it with his paws; however, Douglas says he was only trying to shake paws with the locals.

As his plane took off, he issued the following statement: “Like another Douglas said in the Pacific many years ago: I shall return!” Aloha, Douglas!

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