December 13, 2009
It saddens us deeply to say that our beloved friend Douglas–Presidential hopeful on the Manx Party ticket with Benny in 2008–left this mortal catnip coil on December 8th. Douglas was a strong cat, but he succumbed to a kidney ailment over the last few days of his long and happy life. He spent his last hours with his companion, campaign manager Becky, at his home near Chicago.
Douglas was a loving and wonderful cat, filled with a love of life and abundant energy. No cat could jump higher or run more quickly from a standing start. No cat had better posture, or a coat that shined as much as Douglas’. Most of all, Douglas believed in a better world, and that’s why he ran for higher office. If leaping high in the air could have achieved it, he’d be our President right now.
Douglas’ faithful pal was Bella, and together they were running mates in 2000, narrowly losing to the Repub-lick-can catidates. Bella left us a few years ago. We here at the Manx Party hindquarters are sure that Douglas and Bella right now are romping about, sharing tall tales (sorry, Bella & Benny), and munching on a feast of marshmallows and Chopped Grille.
Rest in peace.
November 5, 2008
Manx Party catidates Douglas and Benny congratulate our next president, Barack Obama!
November 4, 2008
Manx Party catidates Douglas and Benny congratulate Senator Barack Obamanx and Senator Joe Bitin’, the next President and Vice President of the United States! Mission accomplished: We put a Black Cat in the White House! We also want to give our thanks to Senator McCairn Terrier, especially for saying Douglas is a good cat.
Douglas would like all Manx Party supporters to stand and sing the Manx Party National Anthem:
Oh beautiful for Fancy Feast,
For bites that inflict pain,
For Scottish Folds and Siamese,
For Manx, and Coons of Maine.
I shed my fur on thee,
And crown thy good with Meow Mix food,
And marshmallows for me!
November 4, 2008
Manx Party presidential catidate Douglas is urging his supporters to vote for the Obamanx-Bitin’ ticket. “I throw up my support to them,” he said through a spokesperson. “A vote for Obamanx is a vote for Douglas, and a vote for Bitin’ is a vote for Benny. We both agree that this is the best strategy for cats, and their owners.”
Douglas and Benny were planning to appear in Grant Park at the Obamanx rally on Election Night.
October 12, 2008
Repub-lick-can presidential candidate John McCairn Terrier, at a rally in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, expressed his admiration for Douglas. At the rally, while “Who Let The Dogs Out” blasted from overhead speakers, supporters of Sarah Pawlin called for Douglas to be put to sleep and said they were afraid of him.
“Now, wait a minute. Douglas is a good cat. You don’t have to be afraid of him,” said McCairn Terrier. “That is, unless you’re playing Here Comes the Snake and you’re wearing short sleeves. Then, you should be careful. You also should be careful if you’re drinking orange juice, or you’ll end up sharing it. I don’t want to hear any more about putting him to sleep, either, while he’s still healthy. Benny’s a good boy, too.”
The Pawlin fanatics were not pacified with this, and continued to howl and hiss like rabid Alaskan Malamutes. “But Benny’s a Persian!” screamed one. “No, he’s a long-hair Manx,” countered McCairn Terrier.
A Douglas spokesperson thanked McCairn Terrier for his comments, and invited him to share some orange juice with Douglas after the election.
October 8, 2008
For those supporters who were wondering, neither Douglas nor Benny have ear marks. Both cats have ears that are completely black, with no stripes, patches, or other distinguishing marks.
Vote Manx 2008! Put a Black Cat in the White House!
October 3, 2008
Manx Party VP catidate Benny arrived at Thursday night’s vice presidential debate wearing blaze-orange hunting safety gear.
Benny and Douglas are not yet protected by the Secret Service. However, Benny’s concern was due to Repub-lick-can Sarah Pawlin’s stance on animal rights.
Pawlin is a strong advocate of shooting wildlife from airplanes, among other cruelties. The catpaign says “Benny, being that he will be in close proximity to gun-toting Pawlin, is taking no chances, fearing that Pawlin could mistake the black, furry Manx cat for a bear cub, whip out a pistol, and gun Benny down.”
“That’s not putting country bears—or cats—first.”