Manx Party catidates Douglas and Benny congratulate our next president, Barack Obama!

Manx Party catidates Douglas and Benny congratulate Senator Barack Obamanx and Senator Joe Bitin’, the next President and Vice President of the United States! Mission accomplished: We put a Black Cat in the White House! We also want to give our thanks to Senator McCairn Terrier, especially for saying Douglas is a good cat.

Douglas would like all Manx Party supporters to stand and sing the Manx Party National Anthem:

Oh beautiful for Fancy Feast,
For bites that inflict pain,
For Scottish Folds and Siamese,
For Manx, and Coons of Maine.
America! America!
I shed my fur on thee,
And crown thy good with Meow Mix food,
And marshmallows for me!

BENNY 2012!!!!!!

Manx Party presidential catidate Douglas is urging his supporters to vote for the Obamanx-Bitin’ ticket. “I throw up my support to them,” he said through a spokesperson. “A vote for Obamanx is a vote for Douglas, and a vote for Bitin’ is a vote for Benny. We both agree that this is the best strategy for cats, and their owners.”

Douglas and Benny were planning to appear in Grant Park at the Obamanx rally on Election Night.

Repub-lick-can presidential candidate John McCairn Terrier, at a rally in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, expressed his admiration for Douglas. At the rally, while “Who Let The Dogs Out” blasted from overhead speakers, supporters of Sarah Pawlin called for Douglas to be put to sleep and said they were afraid of him.

“Now, wait a minute. Douglas is a good cat. You don’t have to be afraid of him,” said McCairn Terrier. “That is, unless you’re playing Here Comes the Snake and you’re wearing short sleeves. Then, you should be careful. You also should be careful if you’re drinking orange juice, or you’ll end up sharing it. I don’t want to hear any more about putting him to sleep, either, while he’s still healthy. Benny’s a good boy, too.”

The Pawlin fanatics were not pacified with this, and continued to howl and hiss like rabid Alaskan Malamutes. “But Benny’s a Persian!” screamed one. “No, he’s a long-hair Manx,” countered McCairn Terrier.

A Douglas spokesperson thanked McCairn Terrier for his comments, and invited him to share some orange juice with Douglas after the election.

For those supporters who were wondering, neither Douglas nor Benny have ear marks. Both cats have ears that are completely black, with no stripes, patches, or other distinguishing marks.

Vote Manx 2008! Put a Black Cat in the White House!

Manx Party VP catidate Benny arrived at Thursday night’s vice presidential debate wearing blaze-orange hunting safety gear.

Benny and Douglas are not yet protected by the Secret Service. However, Benny’s concern was due to Repub-lick-can Sarah Pawlin’s stance on animal rights.

Pawlin is a strong advocate of shooting wildlife from airplanes, among other cruelties. The catpaign says “Benny, being that he will be in close proximity to gun-toting Pawlin, is taking no chances, fearing that Pawlin could mistake the black, furry Manx cat for a bear cub, whip out a pistol, and gun Benny down.”

“That’s not putting country bears—or cats—first.”

Even though Manx Party vice-presidential catidate Benny couldn’t physically stand as tall as the two humans, nevertheless the little, furry, black contender stood up for the rights of animals at Thursday night’s debate.

Decrying the lack of concern for the rights of animals, Benny especially tore into Pawlin’s record of supporting airplane hunts, and her carelessness towards the creatures that inhabit Alaska.

“Pawlin is good with the sound bites, but her regard for our noble beast friends is almost non-existent”, said a spokesperson for the Douglas-Benny catpaign.

After the debate, Democat Senator Bitin said he shares Benny’s feelings, and will work to restore animal rights if he becomes vice-president.

As Senators McCairn Terrier and Obamanx arrived at the University of Mississippi this evening for their first presidential debate, they were surprised to find Manx Party presidential catidate Douglas, ready for action. “We know that historically, candidates named Douglas perform well in debates, so naturally we wanted Douglas to participate,” said his catpaign manager.

The senators and Douglas, moderated by Jim Lehrer, answered questions about the economy and foreign policy, and the audience agreed not to applaud, cheer, or open any cans of Meow Mix Wholesome Goodness cat food. Part of the transcript follows:

Lehrer: “Mr. Douglas, what is your opinion on the current financial crisis?”

Douglas: “Eck.”

Lehrer: “Mr. Douglas, would you like to comment on whether or not the United States should intervene in Cuba?”

Douglas: “Eck.”

McCairn Terrier: “Come on, this is ridiculous. I’m not going to debate this black cat. He’s soft on spending, he’s soft on Communism, he’s soft on”

Obamanx: “Pss, pss, pss, Douglas, want some marshmallows?”

McCairn Terrier: “That’s not fair! Obamanx is influencing the catidate! I knew I shouldn’t have showed up! Shoot him, Sarah!”

Obamanx, now joined by Douglas at his podium: “Who’s a good boy? Yes, we eat out of cans! Can you catch the marshmallow?”

Lehrer: “Thank you, everyone. Good night, and may the best black cat win!”

Repub-lick-can Sarah Pawlin is an advocate of hunting animals from an airplane.  Today, the Douglas-Benny Manx Party ticket launches “Pause for Paws”. Take a moment out of your day to think about the barbaric, inhumane practice of shooting defenseless wolves and other creatures from the air, for sport. Support Douglas for President, and Benny for Vice-President. Together, they will put an end to the cruelty.

Unlike Sarah Pawlin, vice-presidential nominee of the Repub-lick-can Party, Manx Party VP choice Benny has been thoroughly and completely veted. By a team of veterinarians.

While Pawlin’s record and credentials apparently were not checked sufficiently by the McCairn-Terrier campaign, Benny’s have been exhaustively researched by animal hospital vets, in both Michigan and Illinois, who are experts at this sort of thing. 

The Douglas-Benny ticket’s thoroughness is an example of how they will govern. We urge everyone to join the catpaign today!